In my 22 years of life, I never truly practiced self love until about a month ago. What a lot of people don't know is, I became depressed at the end of 2016. I had been through a couple of life changes and I was honestly lost. So lost, that I cut all of my hair off looking for a temporary solution to a problem I wasn't even aware I had yet. I covered up my depression with partying, meanwhile there was homework I was not doing, articles that never got written, and events I never attended. Instead, I was at Spin every Thursday indulging in $2 drinks, passed out on the beach during Spring Break, front row at every probate, and spending money that I did not have. I had lost myself. As I woke up every morning to do my makeup, I no longer knew who I was. I was broken, lifeless, and I honestly had no love for Sydney Coffee.
As graduation quickly approached, I didn't even know if I was walking across the stage with my class because I decided to no longer give a damn about my work. I also did not know what I was going to do next. Like yeah, I was getting a degree, but what am I about to do with it? After a lot of praying, a lot of crying (which I don't do), and some self motivation, I realized I needed to stop focusing on everything else and take care of ME. Within a couple of weeks, I managed to catch up enough on my school work to graduate (AMEN!) and secure my Summer job at home. I was not in the place I wanted to be, but it was a better place then where I was.
By the start of June, I decided to take some new steps in my self love journey. I blocked a couple of people, not because I was angry, but because I needed a break from seeing their names pop up in my notifications. I also finished a grad school application, started taking better care of my skin and hair again (because I really fell off with the face masks and deep conditioning), and started making healthier choices when it came to my diet (I get occasional cravings for Popeyes, but I'm a work in progress). I was feeling like myself again. Since I started really focusing on loving myself, so many great things have happened. I found a place to stay in Atlanta, I got into grad school (I barely have a balance God is GREAT), I secured a position with a beauty company, as well as a new internship! God has just truly been working and I am just so grateful.
All I can say is, loving yourself first is probably the biggest lesson I have learned in my lifetime. When you don't take the time to love and care for yourself, you create a passage way for self destruction. I am nowhere near perfect, and I know that there are going to be some more bumps in the road to living my best life, but I love me some Sydney Coffee, and that's all that matters.